The seats may be stained, the smells may be abundant and questionable, but the bus is a vital part of life in London and one that isn’t going anywhere soon (because the driver is on break). Whether you are a regular rider, or just need a lift when the car’s in the shop, here are some easy guidelines to riding the LTC.
1 – Drop the attitude
Nobody rides the bus because it’s glamourous.
2 – Mind your legs
No man-spreading, woman-spreading, trans-spreading or any other leg-spreading activity when the bus is near capacity… or when wearing loose shorts.
3 – Keep it to yourself
Watch what you say on your phone about the weirdos on the bus… like it or not – you are one of them.
4 – Move over
Empty seats? Take your pick. Bus full? Move to the window seat. You may not want anyone sitting beside you, but honey, you’re no treat either.
5 – One person, one seat
Your bookbag is not a passenger.
6 – Get back
If the bus is crowded and you have to stand, move back. Nothing is more difficult to navigate than a front-of-the-bus bottleneck during the busiest times of day – especially for those with wheelchairs or strollers.
7 – Common scents
Sometimes you can’t avoid BO. You can, however, avoid bro-level amounts of Axe body spray.
8 – Hands where you can see ’em
Touching thighs is unavoidable. Touching anything else is not.
9 – No speakerphone
Use headphones when listening to music. You aren’t DJ Tranzit.
10 – Toot toot!
If you fart and it’s loud – own it. If it’s silent but deadly, keep your mouth shut and let hilarity ensue. (BONUS TIP) – Time your toots for when you exit the bus, so you leave everyone a souvenir.
Everyone likes to gripe about the LTC, but the fact of the matter is – it’s a reliable, environmentally-friendly mode of transportation. Sure, it has its foibles – sometimes it’s running late, or there are no free seats, or the brakes make you lurch forward in your seat – but it sure beats driving across the city during rush hour.
Many thanks to the bus operators who put up with all of the above, day in and day out. You put the TLC in LTC.