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LondonFuse

markarayner

Bio:

Author of Marvellous Hairy, The Amadeus Net & The Skwib

Website:

The Skwib

markarayner

posted the article

6 End Theories of Twitter

How can Twitter end the world? There are six competing theories. Perhaps one day religious scholars, apocalypse researchers and other gloomy intellectuals may agree which of these theories is correct, or maybe some genius... Read More

4:26pm 8/4/11

markarayner

posted the article

Lucidiva™ — Side effects

Common side effects include heavy breathing, panting, hyperventilation, lack of peripheral vision, excessive screaming, painful hearing and nasal discharge that may look like rice pudding. Sorry, but it happens. You should... Read More

11:30am 18/10/10

markarayner

posted the article

Nine Reasons Why Marvellous Hairy Is An Essential Canadian Novel

As you may know, the fine folk at CBC have foolishly opened the doors to an avalanche of self-promotion by allowing people to nominate their own choice of book for the competition. On the Canada Reads website, they state... Read More

8:37am 12/10/10

markarayner

posted the article

Renoir’s "The Festival of Slorg"

Many art historians believe this to be the famous painting, Luncheon of the Boating Party (Le déjeuner des canotiers) by the French impressionist Pierre-Auguste Renoir, painted in 1881. They are right on two counts: it was... Read More

9:36am 31/7/10

markarayner

posted the article

Leonardo Da Vinci’s Woman with Telekinetic Powers About to Destroy Sienna

Many people have described this as one of history’s most mysterious paintings. They have described the smile on this woman’s face as “enigmatic” and “curious” and highly erotic. Nothing could be farther from the truth. As... Read More

8:59am 27/7/10

markarayner

posted the article

Picasso’s Women from Five-Dimensional Space Prepare to Absorb The Artist’s Essence

There is something undeniably creepy and alien about the women portrayed in Pablo Picasso's masterpiece, Les Demoiselles d'Avignon. He painted this in 1907, though it wasn't shown publicly until nearly a decade later. ... Read More

8:18am 23/7/10

markarayner

posted the article

Forty-seven Signs of the Apocalypse (#35)

From the Book of Cephalopods Yeah, I speak to you about the evil times to come, and the truth shall be written in the ink of the cephalopods, and many shall wail and weep at its truth. Lo! In this time there shall be a Contest... Read More

7:13am 22/7/10

markarayner

posted the article

The Golden Age of Unicorns

In ancient India, Unicorns faced an existential crisis. Not the kind where you doubted your role in life, but rather, the kind where your whole species was in danger of being turned into aphrodisiac soup. Hence, the species... Read More

10:45am 20/7/10

markarayner

posted the article

Edvard Munch’s Face-Melting Attack of the Tragdorg Armada

Okay, so it’s really just called The Scream, and was painted in 1893. That doesn’t make it any less disturbing though. Here’s how Munch described what inspired it: I was walking along a path with two friends — the sun was... Read More

9:07am 18/7/10

markarayner

posted the article

A Brief History of the Unicorn: Part One, The Bible

Wikipedia claims the unicorn is a mythological creature, and I call bullshit on that. The unicorn is not mythological. The kraken is mythological. Jörmungandr, the Midgard Serpent, is a mythological beast. These are animals that... Read More

7:57am 8/6/10

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