It took me quite a few years, but I’ve finally come to terms with my weird eccentricities.
I am weird and I know it. I am also that person that can’t keep my crazy under wraps. People walk into my office and are immediately warned of my cooky-ness because I have a conga line on my computer made up of a Hobbit, R2D2 and Darth Vader accompanied by a gianourmas Jordan Knight button.
I have a problem where if I love something I love it with too much gumption and reckless abandon. And I want everyone to know! You know that phase where 12 year old girls like to gush over EVERYTHING – I didn’t grow out of it.
As of now, I’m so pumped for the upcoming Muppets movie, so I talk about Muppets like every freaking day! Did you know The Muppets are going to cover ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’?? And I use so much punctuation to convey my excitement!!
But there was a point in time I tried to hide my freak-flag. It was like the end of high school, beginning of college, where I took life waaay too seriously. “I play guitar and I just read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath for the 80th time. Look at my thick black eye liner,” I was that girl. Why? I don’t know, maybe I thought I was getting older so I couldn’t squeal over scratch and sniff stickers anymore. Looking back, I hated it. I wasn’t even happy! Probably because I read The Bell Jar 80 times and really, that book is f’n depressing. Or maybe it’s because I watched too many 90s teen movies, and I thought the angst-ridden outsider always landed Heath Ledger or Freddie Prinze Jr. because they had “so much depth”. To be clear, I didn’t have depth, I was just kind of a judgmental bitch.
I don’t know what changed, maybe I just couldn’t keep my looney-tunes under wrap for much longer. Or maybe it’s when Heath Leger died and I realized he wouldn’t break my angsty shell by singing ‘I Love You Baby’. I think I also discovered that taking life too seriously sucks, and you only live once (I also love clichéd sayings)! So you might as well let your freak-flag fly high.
And yes, I have been told on a couple occasions that I don’t take life seriously enough. To be fair, I take my job and organizations I am involved with VERY seriously. But I am not going to let a set back or mistake tear me apart. Why? Because as much as I like to think I am, I’m not all that important. I am not the Prime Minister or the President and my minor flubs are not going to result in the end of the world. So I laugh off my mistakes and maybe take a moment to devour my regret in a sugary confection and move on.
I am very lucky because I find myself surrounded by weird, creative types that accept my unstable freaky way. They deal with me when I talk about how emo Ringo Starr used to be while I drink way too much wine. And if people are going to judge me for my thoughts or the way I act, they are not worth my time. And they are probably Debbie-downers, because everyone knows I am HIGH-larious.
I’m not saying you have to walk around like you have a built in soundtrack and laugh track… which I might do… did I mention I’m slightly off kilter? But give yourself time to laugh, embrace what you love and phoo-phoo the nay-sayers. Give it a try and I guarantee it will put a little bounce in your step. Here is to flying your freak-flag high, my friends.
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